Jodie Norton, mom of 4, recently shared a horrifying experience that has
people thinking twice about the old “Stranger Danger” rule.
You’ve probably heard about stranger danger. It’s this idea that strangers
are dangerous to kids and not to be spoken to. But what about the times where a
kid is in actual danger and needs help from a stranger such as a police
officer? The new lesson parents are teaching kids is called the “trick person”
concept. This is what she says:
Three days ago I was in the shower around 8:30am when it felt like I was
shot in my left ovary. It was an unbearable pain that had me doubled over,
light-headed, and incredibly nauseous.
Well, with the help of some unseen angels, truly, I somehow got enough
clothes on my body to be decent, and drove my four kids and myself five minutes
to our small town ER. (I realized after this all blew over how foolish it was
for me to drive while in intense pain. Be smarter than I was–- call an
ambulance!)
In a moment of what I deem foggy-thinking “pain brain” I left my two
oldest boys –CJ (10) and T-Dawg (8) — outside the ER door on a bench to
await our kind neighbor who said he was coming to pick them up and take them to
school (thanks to my parents who arranged all this while I was driving to the
ER). My younger two and I went inside to see if we couldn’t figure out what the
heck was causing the pain. Spoiler alert: Ruptured ovarian cyst. Really fun
stuff.
It wasn’t until my boys came home from school at 3:30pm, that I found out
they had been waaaay late to school. I had wrongly assumed my neighbor was
coming from his house (not somewhere farther away), so my two boys sat out
front of the ER for 40 minutes. Not the 5 minutes I had expected. Their
story of what had transpired while I had stupidly left them out there alone
made me simultaneously sick and grateful.
In that 40 minutes of obedient sitting and waiting, my two boys experienced
their first real-world experience with the freaky, perverted strangers they’ve
been intermittently warned about. While on that bench, they were approached by
an adult female and two punk males who asked them if they’d “help them out by
going into the bathroom where her boyfriend was hiding from the doctor and see
if they could convince him to come out and get treated.” Yes, I’m serious
that’s what they said.
Even after CJ replied, “No, thank you” they kept at them.
“Please? You could really save his life if you’d just go in that bathroom
and tell him it’s safe to come out.”
CJ said he returned all three of their pleas for help with a “no, thank
you” (each stronger than the last) before they finally let up. Shortly
afterward, the neighbor showed up and my boys jumped in his car, but, not
before they saw a third adult male come out from the bathroom, jump into the
car with these other three hooligans and drive off.
My mouth hung open the entire time they relayed this account.
My anger and shock turned to immense gratitude, however, when I
heard CJ spout off a family “stay safe” rule we went over way too long ago that
helped him know these creeps were up to no good. Most specifically, a tip for
identifying a “tricky person.”
CJ: “Mom, I knew they were tricky people because they were asking us for
help. Adults don’t ask kids for help.”
Have you heard of the tricky people concept? Tricky people are the new
strangers. Pattie Fitzgerald, the creator of Safely Ever After where the tricky
people concept originated says, “Stop telling your kids not to talk to
strangers. They might need to talk to a stranger one day. Instead, teach
them which sorts of strangers are safe.”
One of her guidelines for knowing what people are unsafe is the rule CJ
remembered in time of need: tricky people ask kids for help. If a safe
adult needs help, they’ll ask another adult. Not a kid. Pattie includes many
other tips and rules for staying safe under her “prevention tips” tab on her
Safely Ever After website.
Click on and read all that information if you haven’t already. Please. Hold
family meetings where you talk about and role play these concepts periodically.
This experience has made me grateful that we had gone over this in the past,
but even more so, it’s made me determined to continue going over these stay
safe rules. Regularly.
When it’s all said and done, the phrase “knowledge is power” undoubtedly
applies to our kids keeping themselves safe. We know we won’t always be
physically present to protect our kids from everything–- I’m sure you lose
sleep over this like I do. But, we can empower them and give them confidence
by teaching them what they can do in these kind of situations.
I know our next family meeting will involve CJ teaching his siblings about
identifying tricky people, and us interjecting information to fill the holes in
our teaching we noticed from this experience. Like for instance, there is no
need to be polite to an adult that is making you uncomfortable. Thank you,
Texas, for teaching my boys your dreamy Southern hospitality, but in the event
adults are making my kids uncomfortable or are asking them to break their stay
safe rules, a “no thank you” is not required.
Sigh. I shared this whole experience with you so you could learn from it.
Like we have. If you haven’t already, take the necessary time to establish your
own family stay safe rules-– the links I’ve included in this post are a great
place to start. If you’ve already got your family stay safe rules in place,
re-visit them. And don’t forget the tricky person concept because let’s face
it, our kids are growing in a world that’s replete with them.
Jodie later posted an update saying she’s notified the police of the
frightening incident. They have retrieved surveillance footage from the
hospital and are on the case.
It must not have been easy for Jodie to post this story. No doubt, she’s
opening herself up to the internet’s criticism by sharing what happened that
day. But she shared her story anyway as a powerful reminder to all parents and
caretakers to educate their children.
As Jodie says, we cannot always be with them, but we can empower them.
Our hope is that the “tricky people” concept will spread so that more brave
little kids like CJ will know how to keep themselves safe!
Share this mother’s words of caution to protect other
families today.