A new mom was at Target picking up baby formula when
a woman felt the need to tell her off for using formula and telling her “breast
is best.”
But that woman didn’t know her story. So she decided
to write an shockingly open to letter to her:
“Dear Stranger in Target,
You didn’t need to tell me, “breast is best” as I was
buying a can of baby formula, because I already know.
I know that my husband and I excitedly took the four
hour breast feeding class when I was pregnant.
I know that my baby immediately did skin to skin and
ate from my breast within an hour of her birth, because it was
important to me.
I know that we saw a lactation consultant before we
took her home, and again a few weeks later.
I know that we struggled at first. That some nights
we both cried together. That my dear friends swore it would get better. I know
they were right, and it did.
I know “breast is best” just like you do.
But, let me tell you what else I know.
I know that my baby began screaming after she ate.
Writhing in pain. Inconsolable.
I know over the last month and a half I have
exclusively pumped and tried slow flow bottles of breast milk, I have tried
different positions, I have seen another lactation consultant.
I know I have held my child, my baby, while she
screamed for hours- one day for eight hours straight.
I know we have been to see the pediatrician at least
twice a week since she has been born.
I know that I tried cutting soy, and dairy, and leafy
greens from my diet to make my milk more digestible for her.
I have pumped- and I’m still pumping- enough to have
hundreds of ounces of breast milk in my freezer even though she will likely
never be able to eat it.
All because “breast is best.”
And then finally, we tried the hypoallergenic dairy
protein free formula you saw me buying today. And the screaming lessened. And
my baby started smiling. She started interacting. She started sleeping.
And I cried. Because I thought breast was best. I
thought my body failed her. I thought she wouldn’t be as healthy on formula.
I know you think I must not care or I’m lazy, or
maybe you were genuinely trying to be helpful and thought no one had ever told
me the benefits of breast feeding.
But, you are wrong. What I know that you don’t is
that breast ISN’T always best. I know happy, healthy baby is best. I know FED
is best.
What I’m sure we both know is that parenting is hard.
Really hard. That sometimes what we plan for and what we want just doesn’t work
out, but we are all here trying to do what’s best for our babies.
So, dear stranger, next time you see someone buying
formula, try to remember that mamas should support each other. Think about
everything you might not know. Remind yourself that “fed is best” and smile
because it means someone loves their baby enough to do what’s best for them.
Love,
Another Mom Doing Her Best and a Happier Formula Fed
Baby”
It’s easy for everyone to judge off our preconceived
notions but it’s important to remember we don’t know the stories and struggles
of others.
Share this with your friends and family today!