Everyone
has those days that every living being and all things technological seem hell
bent on screwing your day up. If you take a deep breath and reread the first
sentence it may occur to you how ego eccentric this is. The entire world is
never out to get you, it simply doesn’t have the organization skills to mass
that kind of assault. Most people are out there living their files and you get
in their way. Or vice versa. Think back to a time you seemed to be really upset
with someone, whether a pedestrian, a driver, server or co worker. You may have
spilled some water on something important, or walked across the street with
poor timing.
You
didn’t mean to aggravate any one but your actions led to a serious attitude.
Granted you could have been paying more attention but in most instances people
are trying their best, especially in public. The ‘offended’ or ‘opposing’ party
is choosing to lose its cool right? How is your reaction any different? There
are some simple techniques to get the focus off of you and your ego. If you
choose to carry it around with you then your ego is bound to get bruised.
Take Time Feel, Acknowledge, and Answer
Too
often the social response precedes the actual emotional development. We know that something will make us mad so we
gear up before the emotion has even settled in. Someone offends you the first
step is to breathe. As you take in and release that breathe notice where the
other person is at, in relation to you. Bridge the gap. Be mindful of their
feelings while expressing yours.
Distance Yourself From Toxic People
Not
everyone is out to get you, but there are a handful that take pleasure out of
making your day a little more unpleasant then it has to be. We’re not going to
diagnose or dissect the reasons these people are so unproductive. You have
better things to do with your time than speculate on the matters of madness for
others.
If
someone does not apologize for a wrong doing, intentional or otherwise that is
a red flag. If someone never fully acknowledges your apologies this too is a
red flag. Its safe to assume like to play childish games and make waves. Do
your best to avoid them but if they are a customer or boss or someone you can’t
avoid readily, then enjoy the waves they make.
Be Empathic
Empathy
is the ability to relate to another person, as sincerely as possible, on an
emotional level. Sympathy is an acknowledgement of someone’s suffering with
detachment and normally a little judgement. Someone feeling sorry for me has
never helped anything. A person approaching me and simply acknowledging how
messed up the situation was has helped.
Feel
out the situation, is there a way for you to help this person without
offense? Even just a smile and an
invitation to vent for a moment is what the person needs to turn their day
around. Sincere compassion is the fastest and most efficient way to turn a
negative situation positive. I try and keep in mind how hurt I have to feel to
snap at others. When I’m like that I usually just need a hug.
Don’t Turn To Others To Validate Your Self Esteem
If
you rely entirely on friends and family to keep your self esteem at a healthy
level, you leave the door open for others to bring you down. You have to
surrendered the keys to your own happiness engine. If you can’t bring a sense
of confidence and love to yourself then you end up taking the emotional waves
of everyone around you. If we put harmful intention aside, most of the people
you interact with don’t know you that well. Even if they had the best
intentions, how could they give you what you need?
I’ve
found in myself and others that the road to self love is paved in laughter. You
got to be able to giggle at how upset you can get over the littlest things, how
petty people can get over trying to protect their egos, how easy it is to love
someone as amazing as yourself. Culture your own sense of love and appreciation
and the waves people try to force on you will seem more of what they are,
insignificant.
Take Lots Of Time For Self Care
This
one follows the previous point for a reason. Obviously this stuff is getting to
you. I’ve met yogi gurus that had road rage. Brilliant advice, impeccable
technique and a vast knowledge doesn’t stop them from reacting like people.
People get angry, that’s a simple fact. So as you learn to let go of your
momentarily raging ego, remember that its a path not a goal.
You
had a bad day or didn’t react healthy to a situation? Meditate on it for just
ten minutes and see how you feel. Sometimes when I do this I get into a frenzy
of emotions. I stand up, dance about shake it off, and stomp my feet to
reestablish my bodies sense of now. Go vent to friends, but be careful the
focus should be on how you feel and what you could have done better. Bad
mouthing someone will only feed more
negativity into the situation.
Source
: thespiritscience.net